5 day post op surgery

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it’s been 5 days since my surgery (surgery was done on 11/21/2018). My right face and ear is numb and hurts to the touch. I can’t enjoy soild food to my heart desires. I am growing tired of having to apply the white vinegar and water mixture to clean my wound. I’m tired of sleeping on my back with 3 pillows stack high to the ceiling and I get tired easily. It’s been a hard journey after surgery in which I did not foresee and did not expect. I wanted everything to be “normal” again. I wanted to feel “normal” and eat what I want without having difficulty chewing or feeling like I might choke on whatever food I had in my mouth. It’s both physical and mentally draining. Mentally because I did not expect such a big change in my life. There are days where I feel like giving up and be defeated and that it may not get better than this. Sometimes i just want to sit in the corner and cry to myself and wonder why do I have to go through such tragic/travail matter. I’m mentally drain. I have not wash my hair since  the day of my surgery and it is killing me. I have a hard time speaking and drinking out of a straw. It’s slowly eating me away that the things I was once able to do, I can’t do anymore.

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