TheNursingStudent

On January 8, 2019 I started on first round of radiation therapy. It was not bad at first until I hit the second week. The fatigue and the change in taste as well as dry mouth started setting in. My mouth would get so dry that I had to consistently drink water throughout the day to just keep my mouth hydrated. I also notice that my saliva would thicken through out the day which is annoying since I am not producing any saliva. My fatigue isn't bad, however, I do notice that I get tired easily and want to just lay down. I hope that when the term starts next week I can gather enough energy to study because this term is going to be the hardest from what I heard from previous students. I also notice that my appetite has decreased as well since I barely can taste how good foods are. The foods that I had enjoy in the past no longer taste the same. I no longer have the appetite to eat, but I keep reminding myself that I must eat in order to recover and get better.  I will be done wi...

It has been a little over a month since my partiod surgery. I am slowly improving little by little. I am able to talk a little better and able to eat much more than before however, I still have trouble with my right eye being super dry due to the trauma done to the facial nerve in which I am unable to blink normally, nevertheless, I am hopeful that one day it would resolve and go back to normal.  Toward the end of December I met with the radiation oncology doctor who went over my treatment plan with me. Treatment will consists of a 6 week radiation Monday-Friday. I will see her tomorrow for another follow up appointment for a CT scan and a mask as well as talking more about my treatment. I was lucky enough to have the support of my school to adjust my clinical rotation to the weekend instead for the upcoming term and they are willing to accommodate my radiation schedule which I am super thankful for. I just hope that everything will be smooth sailing from here on out. I know tha...

So it has been a while since I last update. It has been a hacked months with learning about my new diagnosis and treatment plan. After surgery, I was inform that the tumor was indeed malignant (cancer) and not just that but a rare type of cancer call lymphoepithelial carcinoma of the parotid gland. I was devastated and I felt like my whole world was turn upside down. I was hoping that the tumor was benign and I can move on with my life after the surgery. However, to my dismay I was diagnosis with cancer. I would lie if I said that I took the news with great optimistic, but it was nothing like that. For the next couple of days while I was waiting for my oncology appointment for a follow up and to go over the next step in my treatment, I felt hopeless and defeated. I felt like crying as my diagnosis eats me little by little until I felt like I have no energy left in me. There were times in which I thought it would have been better if I was just dead and not have to go through this. B...

it’s been 5 days since my surgery (surgery was done on 11/21/2018). My right face and ear is numb and hurts to the touch. I can’t enjoy soild food to my heart desires. I am growing tired of having to apply the white vinegar and water mixture to clean my wound. I’m tired of sleeping on my back with 3 pillows stack high to the ceiling and I get tired easily. It’s been a hard journey after surgery in which I did not foresee and did not expect. I wanted everything to be “normal” again. I wanted to feel “normal” and eat what I want without having difficulty chewing or feeling like I might choke on whatever food I had in my mouth. It’s both physical and mentally draining. Mentally because I did not expect such a big change in my life. There are days where I feel like giving up and be defeated and that it may not get better than this. Sometimes i just want to sit in the corner and cry to myself and wonder why do I have to go through such tragic/travail matter. I’m mentally drain. I have not w...

Hello! How long has it been since my last update? I am doing fine, how are life treating you all? Since my last update, life has been ok. I had manage to move forward with life and had proceed to go on about my every life which include school and studying. I manage to get pass my feeling of hopelessness and fear, however, today all those feelings came rushing back and once more I feel so hopeless again. I had my biopsy done today which was the worst feeling ever! They took sample from two different area. One at the parotid gland and the other one at my cervical lymph nodes. They did numb the two places, but it not help at all. I could feel them probing and poking at the parotid gland, but did not feel anything at the cervical lymph nodes until they were finish in which the numbing agent had already dissipated and that area became sore and stiff. It was sore for me to even turn my head to the right side all together. I feel so sad and hopeless. I wanted to cry for this pain to stop. I...

Ever since the diagnosis of me possibly having parotid cancer that’s may have metastasized to my cervical lymph nodes brought me much anxiety and fear. I still wanted to deny the fact that there must have been a mistake and that this is probably just a benign tumor x 2. But the more I gone back to reread the diagnostic imaging that was done to confirm such diagnosis – I began to question ‘why me’? I was in my second year of nursing school and was set to graduate next year in October. My life was barely starting and now this. My fears begin to eat me away. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. I wanted answers to the question ‘why me?’. I wanted to know how I deserve this or the what ‘if’s’. What if that time I felt the bump on my neck and went to the doctor instead of waiting. What if I didn’t negate my health, would it have not been malignant to this point and I wouldn’t have such bad anxiety and fear of the thought that the cancer cells had already spread to every part of my body? E...